Keep in mind, however, that this often does not solve the problem. That’s what he means when he says, “ [He] makes her commit adultery.” Jesus’ teaching is not meant to trap women in abusive marriages. There is no one chapter of the Bible dedicated to abuse. It is Jesus’ psalm, and you are sharing in His Words (read Mark 14). If you need to leave and seek safety, that is not necessarily a first step toward divorce. Does scripture encourage a spouse to patiently and quietly endure harsh and abusive treatment within her or his marriage?. Some who do quickly renege on them and go back to the abusive situation. This is the way to avoid the twin contaminants of most relationships—anger and fear. The Bible calls this overcoming evil with good (Romans 12:20). But that does not solve the problem—it only makes it worse. ©2020 BGEA Your long-term goal should be to know the personal God. If you’ve been physically hurt by your spouse, and he continues to threaten you, then you should get protection. You have many reasons why you don’t ask for help. Is emotional abuse enough grounds for separation or even divorce? What Does the Bible Say About..Staying With an Abusive Spouse? For example, you aren’t eager for someone to confront your husband because you are afraid he will get even angrier at you. Ask your pastor to guide you in the knowledge of what God says. Psalm 55 can get you started. Trusting in God’s love will free you to love others the way you have been loved. Speak with a humility that’s more powerful than anger. I would fly away and be at rest; yes, I would wander far away; I would lodge in the wilderness; I would hurry to find a shelter from the raging wind and tempest…For it is not an enemy who taunts me—then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me—then I could hide from him. The Bible does emphasize that marriage is a covenant that should not be broken unless we have God’s permission (Matthew 19:6). Read through the book of Proverbs underlining all the sayings about anger. It also says, “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life” (Proverbs 15:4). But instead of withdrawing in anger, God pursues you even when you don’t want to be pursued. Verbal abuse brings consequences “The mouths of fools are their undoing, and their lips are a snare to their very lives” (Proverbs 18:7). Since I’m in the midst of writing my series on When a Husband Doesn’t Love His Wife with Christ-Like Love, I felt that now would be a fitting time to answer this reader’s question.. Dear Jolene, I attended a church many years ago that taught some things I still wrestle with: I know God frowns upon divorce, but what does the Bible say about getting out of abusive relationships? I am very concerned about his mental state. As you think about how to keep youself and your children safe, please find someone to discuss this with you and guide you. Your sense of self-worth does not need to depend on the opinion of others. Your spouse, when he is sinfully angry, is caring only about himself and his own desires (James 1:13-15). Verbal abuse is a kind of battering which doesn't leave evidence comparable to the bruises of physical battering. One is that you don’t know exactly what kind of help you need. Some of my friends say I should get a divorce, but others say I should “submit” to my husband and and love him no matter what. The Bible says the impact of reckless words is like being stabbed and is just as injurious as physical abuse. We have two teenagers and he treats them badly. Your biggest struggle will be to put your hope in God more than you put your hope in your husband changing. Could it be that the human heart is wicked, desperately evil and care. 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